Big Fat Eraser

 

I am reminded recently of a day not long ago where watching airplanes high in the blue sky leaving their elegant cursive writings and the simple observation of a five year old taught me a lesson. “They are letters to God”, is what my great niece calls them. As the white streaks began to fade, eventually disappearing completely, I asked her “what happened to the letters, they disappeared”? Her simple reply was “God used His big eraser to remove the mistakes!” Isn’t that response clever, isn’t that insightful?  img_0699-1
Thank God He has a BIG FAT ERASER with no ending to erase my really big and many mistakes.


I think of the ones I have made; like the times I should have done something and I did nothing. Or the the times I did something and got involved and I sure shouldn’t have. The times I spoke up and gave my opinion and I shouldn’t have and then the times I didn’t say a word when I should have.
There are times I was impatient, in a hurry and I snapped at someone, or I was distracted and rude to someone else, or I said something hastily without thinking how it will be received and it came out harsh, abrupt and my words stung the tender feelings of someone. Times are plenty when I didn’t have all the facts and made a snap decision and judgement call.

Then there are times I simply looked the other way, thinking to myself that someone else will do or say something.
I think of the times I let someone down when they were depending on me, I didn’t say the right thing at the right time and I just blew it and didn’t meet their expectations and needs.
There have been times I couldn’t see what was going on right in front of me, I didn’t hear what they were really saying and I failed once again.

I have missed opportunities to make a difference because I was afraid, I let fear of what others thought of me cloud my better judgment and I’ve made decisions based on that same fear; the fear of rejection and not being loved. The fear of disappointing others and being perceived as not good enough and unlovable.
My fear of not being perfect, stemmed from being raised when only perfection was rewarded, lovely, noticed and acceptable. Fear has clouded my judgment, my values and my convictions often and I’ve compromised and sacrificed greatly because of that fear based living. I’m ashamed of my past mistakes and decisions I’ve made and the ripple effect they have had on others.

There really are consequences of our decisions; good and bad!
It seems no matter how we mature as human beings, how we grow as Christians and try to compensate and make up for our mistakes; the memories still arise and haunt us. We ask God to forgive us, we try to believe He has, but we can’t seem to forgive ourselves.
But on a warm summer day, lying on a blanket in my backyard after eating a picnic lunch; out of the mouth of a little child spoke with such innocence and wisdom, as we looked up at the vast blue streaked sky with mounds of cotton ball clouds; I was vividly reminded of the forgiving grace of my Heavenly Father and His BIG FAT ERASER that erases my mistakes, forgives my sins, forgets my failures and accepts me just the way I am; with my imperfections, flaws, scars, bruises and all!

Thank You Father for the gift of this special little girl that reminded me of how awesome You are. For I have in my possession a big eraser. I can erase the hurts, the mistakes, the wrongs that other imperfect people have done and said to hurt me.
Isn’t God amazing, isn’t His love and His grace and His mercy and His faithfulness to us the greatest gift of all?
Now go out and start erasing mistakes! Have an incredible day my friends!!!!!!!!
Tonya F Henshaw

March 4,2016

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