It Hurts!

Pain Hurts! But pain in itself is not bad. It is the signal from our brain that something in our body is wrong, something is not working correctly and needs our attention.

Pain in our emotions is the same; something is wrong, something is “off ” balance and needs attention. Ignoring the pain signals and stuffing them away deep inside will likely destroy us.

Whether the pain we experience is physical, emotional or spiritual; pain is painful and it is a distress call, an “S.O.S” signal, it is screaming”Help me!” We need to attend to it, listen, pay attention and get the necessary help to deal with the source of the pain.

We may try to cover up the pain, pretending it doesn’t hurt, maybe we can ignore it for a while, it may even go away for a short time, but it is always there, waiting to emerge with a vengeance. We may try to deal with our pain by medicating it with pain killers or the use of drugs, alcohol, maybe even sex, money, gambling or feeding our inflated ego; whatever our form of pain relief is, nothing lasts for long. We may try denying our pains existence, we may try distracting our attention away from it, we may try all sorts of our own remedies, beliefs and “old wives” tails. But in reality, the source of the pain is still there. It resurfaces and the fact is, we are still hurting, still feeling the pain, still dealing with the same old habits, doing the same thing over and over again.

No matter what types of remedies we have used to help mask the pain, nothing is going to work until we dig down deep and get to the very root of the problem. We need to find out: What is it that is causing the pain? What and where is the source, where is the root? What are we doing that is feeding and giving blood and life through nourishment to the root system that is poisoning our bodies and lives?

Just trying to manage the pain and getting by is not good enough, this is no way to live. This is not life well lived and this is not what we should desire for ourselves. The pain itself is not the issue, we need to get down to the very source of what is causing the pain. The pain is not bad, not dealing with it at the root is what is detrimental to our overall health, that is what is bad.

The ignored and unresolved issues, breeds and spreads throughout the whole body, like a cancer. It feeds and destroys all that is good in the body and left unchecked and treated, soon it is too late. It can devour the whole body destroying it to the point of death.

When we get to the place in our lives we can not handle the pain any longer, the pain has become unbearable and we want relief and freedom no matter what and we desire to be made whole, balanced and in order; this is the turning point at which the beginning of our journey of healing and recovery starts. It is not easy, but well worth it to be whole.

There are steps to being made whole, healing and recovery.

1. First, when we feel pain; assess it

2. Acknowledge the pain is very real

3. Determine where the pain is coming from

4. Figure out what/who has caused the pain

5. Come up with a treatment plan

6. Make the necessary changes to stop further damage

7. Envision a healed and completely whole body, mind and soul

8. Do what is necessary to move on with clear, authentic intentions and actions to bring the bodies and lives
back into balance.

Physically, it may mean the course of action entails surgery, maybe an extraction, maybe afterwards medication, chemo or radiation. Maybe changing our diets, exercising and implementing other good choices into our lives will be what is needed.

Then emotionally speaking, it may mean we sever ties with certain people that have injured us. It may mean saying good-bye to a toxic relationship(s) and habits, we may need to practice setting up new boundaries to protect ourselves from dangerous people from our pasts. It may mean taking care of ourselves and thinking of what we need instead of always thinking of others first, we must be whole before we can give of ourselves.

I have found that if pain is not dealt with rather quickly, remembered-unforgiven pain arises in the form of anger, resentment and hostility. Pain, left not dealt with may surface as fear, torment and anxiety. Pain directed to oneself is self-inflicted pain and arises as guilt, shame and a life full of regrets.

Finally, once we have allowed the source of our pain to run rampant and devour our bodies from the inside, we are left with nothing but an empty shell. We are dead men and women walking, exhausted, no life, no enjoyment, the final result is depression. Depression is debilitating and paralyzing. It hurts not only us but the people around us, our jobs, commitments and the relationships that need us and that we need. I have suffered with depression myself and whether it be chemical, situational, inherited, or circumstantial; it is very real and it hurts. Help is available and healing is for you too.

I encourage you, as I have learned from experience: let it out! Deal with the source and get it out! Forgive and let healing begin and live the best life you were meant to live. God is the ultimate healer and can bring balance to you as He did for me. He shows no favoritism, He is crazy about you and wants you to be whole. He loves you and wants good things for you.


Tonya F. Henshaw

March 29, 2013